Will's surgery

We finally got some word from the adoption agency! I compulsively check my e-mail everyday, just hoping for some tidbit of information. Anything, good or bad, I just want to know as much as I can about this precious little guy that we are calling "ours". Will had his first open heart surgery, and is now back in the orphanage and recovering nicely. We received a HUGE medical report, and have sent it on to our pediatric cardiologist. He and I are meeting next Friday to go over it, and he will explain things more in terms that I can understand. But the bottom line is that Will is doing great, all things considered! The one really scary thing in his report is that his left kidney is severely enlarged, and is not functioning well. I know that people can live with one kidney, but the question remains whether or not he will have to have another surgery to remove that kidney. If it is not causing any noticeable problems, there is no reason to remove it. But we just don't know right now. We are waiting for some lab work results to come back, so the doctor can get a better idea of what is going on and explain it all to us. And some really good news.....the agency is sending us a video of Will!!!! I absolutely can't wait to see it! To me, the thought of seeing this video, of seeing our little angel in action carries the same feelings as the first ultrasound I had with each of my girls. I remember the feeling of awe, when you knew all along that there was a real, live baby in there, but seeing it actually moving just changed my perspective, each and every time. And I that is how I feel now. I have the same anticipation, since all that we have to go on right now is an outdated picture.....it's from 4 months ago, and you know how babies change! I can't wait to see him smile, to see him move around and focus on people. I just need this so badly, to help convince myself that he is going to be okay. It breaks my heart to think of this poor baby going to a huge hospital in a strange city to have his chest cut open, with nobody there who loves him; nobody to hold him and tell him that it would all be okay, that the pain will not last forever. But that is what Will has been through already in his young life, and the one thing that I just keep telling myself is that he is so young that he will never remember this. He's only 8 months old.....and I just wish that I could say for sure that we would have him home before his first birthday, that he will be home at an age where he never remembers not living with us. And I wonder if we will ever get to the point, like we did with our girls, that we can't really remember life without him. We are still waiting on one last piece of paperwork for our dossier to be done. When that is completed, I will feel like we can finally relax. There was a mix up with some paperwork from New York State, so I had to send another request for some documents to them. I sent it all overnight, with postage-paid return envelopes to have it over-nighted back. So hopefully, it will be done in a few days. They'd better not lose it this time! It frustrates me so much that government officials either can't, or don't want to, see how their red tape and beaurocracy is affecting the life of this sick little boy. If I could just call each and every person who stood in the way of us getting our baby sooner rather than later, I would, and I would show them his picture, and tell them what he has been through and what he still has to endure, and beg them to drop whatever they are doing right this minute, and sign off on this paperwork so that we can bring him home NOW. But then I know that even if I could do that for this one boy, there are still millions more out there just like him, and that the rules are there for a reason, and I just have to be patient. Sometimes though, I just want to stamp my foot like my two year old would do, and demand to be given what I want, "right now"! Oh well, I will try to just stay busy and work with the system, not against it. In the meantime, we are getting Will's room ready, preparing the girls for the fact that they will be getting a brother and that Mommy and Daddy will be going away for a week to get him, and that life in the Morgan house is going to get even more hectic than usual for a while. I will post more when I get the video and/or some more updates. Until then, I will try to stay sane!